13 Ways of Looking at a “Like”

30 May

monkeylike

13 Ways of Looking at a Like

1)      I like this

 

2)      OMG, I freaking LOVE this!

 

3)      I love this so much that I am totally going to share this while wishing I’d found or thought of it first, damn it!

 

4)      I am completely in alignment with you politically and/or culturally.  Isn’t it great/awful, this thing we agree upon?  I am so glad you expressed it thusly so that I can “like” it and do nothing else about it.

 

5)      Yes, I hereby acknowledge reading this thing that you wrote.

 

6)      This thing you are posting, it is complicated and I don’t much feel like getting into it right now.

 

7)      I feel bad for you.  Hugs!

 

8)      How about you not being so goddamned self-centered and making a comment on other people’s walls once in a while?

 

9)      As Gore Vidal once said, this thing you are sharing about your life’s excellence is causing me to die a little.

 

10)  I something other than like this, precisely, but the attenuated range of expression available to me here forces me to fucking like this.  (Do you have to swear so much?  There are children on Facebook!  The children!)

 

11)  Well, crap, I liked this person’s thing and that person’s thing, even if it wasn’t really liking exactly (I mean, these things are complicated), so now I have to like your stuff too or you’ll be angry with me.

 

12)  I’m just clicking at this point.  It makes me feel alive.

 

13)  This contribution to my social graph is commodifying me into a few pennies that will be added to Mark Zuckerberg’s riches, and so once again I manage to do an injustice to the memory of Lloyd Dobler:

 

“I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”

 

 

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